by Rene Street | Jan 12, 2025 | Blog, Business, Uncategorized
Being present in today’s world is more difficult than it has ever been before. Everyone is constantly bombarded by emails, text messages, social media, news, advertisements, and all the other distractions of the modern world.
A lack of presence, especially in leadership, can often lead to poor communication, a lack of rapport with those around you, and volatility, uncertainty, confusion, and ambiguity in the workplace. One of the easiest ways to solve this problem is to understand and change the way you listen to those around you.
Most people don’t focus on or participate in listening in a way that actually makes a difference. Learning to truly listen and engage with whomever you are talking to enables connection, builds trust, and elevates flow across the board. When you strengthen your ability to listen, you become a better communicator. When you level up your ability to hear, you show up as somebody who is more open to feedback and who appreciates the contribution of what others are thinking and feeling.
Upleveling your listening begins first and foremost with understanding what, how, and when you aren’t really listening.
Listening from Obligation
When this happens, there is little to no effort from the listener, either due to various distractions or a lack of caring about what the speaker has to say. Common behaviors when you’re listening at this level are multitasking, such as playing on your phone or scrolling through emails when someone is talking to you, tuning out/daydreaming, and anticipating what you think they are going to say and interjecting words for them. This kind of listening makes it impossible to develop rapport.
This level of listening also includes pretend listening, where you are not paying attention to the speaker, however you still act as though you are listening. The listener’s brain is paying attention to other things, but they are maintaining involvement in the conversation. Think of sitting next to someone very talkative on the plane or talking on the phone with a chatty family member. You aren’t absorbing or understanding the information the speaker is sharing.
Listening from the Inside
This is selective listening or downloading. In this level, you are only listening for what someone else is saying to confirm facts you already believe to be true. You are listening inside of your existing context. You parcel out information that you perceive to be uninteresting, lacking in value, or that doesn’t conform to your biases and preconceived notions. This level of listening is problematic because you only hear what you want to hear. When you listen this way, it’s all too often to brush feedback aside and/or filter it out altogether.
You know you’ve been listening like this when you come out of a conversation and everything you expected to happen happened. This type of listening is all about you. Your purpose in listening is to validate yourself and invalidate another if they disagree with you. There is no freedom and nothing new will be created in this kind of listening.
Listening for New Information
This level of listening is about seeking new information, new data, and new perspectives. It’s listening to learn. However, you are still listening for what’s in it for you. You’re not curious, but listening to gain knowledge or get something out of the listening. You are taking what you already think and building upon it.
At this level you are open to hearing something you haven’t heard before. You have some new data points and information that challenges your assumptions. Perhaps it exposes some new content or new reality to you. Here, you can actually walk away from the conversation with a memory of what was said and how it changed your perception. You leave the conversation thinking new things or in new ways.
Listening with Curiosity and Compassion
In this level of listening you are really connecting to the other person. You’ve got an empathic, emotional connection. This is when you’re listening soul to soul, heart to heart, and seeing the experience through another person’s eyes. You’re not only challenging your own assumptions, but actually considering that the other person’s reality is valid. You get to experience that person’s experience. Most one-on-ones should be done with this empathic, emotional connection. You’re letting go of your agenda and having an open mind and heart, building trust, and deepening your relationship with this person. You’re curious.
This is when you are fully engaged and focused on the speaker’s words and what those words mean to you and to the speaker. Nothing distracts you from the person with whom you are speaking. They have your full and undivided attention and it is clear to them that this is so.
Listening for What’s Possible
This level of listening is generative. You have moved beyond any friction and are completely immersed in flow. Everybody is participating. You both are in service of something bigger than the agenda and listening with an open will. In this level, you aren’t just listening to the person, but acknowledging the future that wants to be created. This is where innovation happens. This is where the collective genius is not just tapped into, but realized.
This is the highest and most meaningful level of listening and is where you want to spend as much time as possible.
Listening at the Highest Level Every Time
We all need diverse opinions and viewpoints. When you listen from the lower levels of listening, which is not really listening at all, you miss out on so much, from critical information and feedback, to a chance to develop rapport with your team, a loved one, or even a total stranger.
The most effective leaders all excel at listening from the highest level. They make people feel valued, respected, and understood. They are also always honing their skills and becoming better listeners. They continually work on opening their mind, heart, and will. It’s a continual process of evolution. They are present and focused on whatever or whomever is in front of them. Meaningfully listening to those around you enables you to elevate yourself as a leader, build trust and rapport, and empower the people you’re listening to. Evolving your leadership and achieving optimal results begins with listening.
About the author:
Margaret Graziano, known as the Evolutionist, is the founder and CEO of KeenAlignment, as well as a Wall Street Journal Best-Selling Author for her book “Ignite Culture.” She has been recognized as one of Silicon Valley’s Top 100 Women Leaders. Magi’s groundbreaking work is driven by her power to uncover and catalyze human potential. Go to www.MargaretGraziano.com for more information.
by American Business Women's Association | Jul 3, 2020 | Blog, Uncategorized
“I wish I could rewind the clock and do it differently.” Bob, CEO of a mid-size organization lamented to his former colleague, Rick. A week earlier he had sent out an internal memo warning that things were about to change. Their entire industry would soon be affected due to emerging government regulations.
The day after the memo was sent, worst case scenarios were circulating throughout the company. The gossip mill was in full swing. Fear quickly spread to vendors and customers. Within 48 hours, Bob had hundreds of emails from concerned workers, vendors and customers.
“What could you have done differently? You shared the information you had at the time.” Rick earnestly attempted to support his friend.
“Rick, I didn’t have much information from the Feds. I should have been upfront with people that I was also in the dark.” The CEO confided.
“I know but you couldn’t have anticipated that people would react so badly.” Rick responded in a compassionate tone.
“I underestimated the importance of doing more than sharing facts. My memo wasn’t very warm and friendly.” Bob admitted.
For the past two decades, Bob had focused on building a loyal team around him. He had worked hard to build their trust and was confident he had achieved it. Now, with one poorly written document, he was surprised to see how quickly that trust could erode.
Here’s what also surprised Bob: how differently employees read written communication during times of stress and change.
Bob made some blunders. You don’t have to repeat his mistakes. As a leader, you can build trust during turbulent times by following these four writing tips:
Tip #1: Choose Every Word Carefully. This is critical. During times turbulent times, every word you write to your employees about the crisis will be scrutinized.
Bob’s Blunder: He used ‘unfortunate’ in his memo. Employees obsessed about the use of this word, convinced it reflected some dire meaning.
Do This: Before you press send, ask yourself, could my reader derive some unintended meaning from my wording? If you are not sure, get a second opinion! (or third or fourth!)
Tip #2: Make a Human Connection. It has been said that people will forget what you said, but they will never forget how you make them feel. This also applies to written communication. During turbulent times, employees look to leaders for reassurance and empathy. Conveying a human connection through writing fosters trust in leadership.
Bob’s Blunder: Bob’s memo came across as uncaring to employees since it lacked any expression of emotion.
Do This: Before you press send, ask yourself, what expression of genuine emotion could I share with my readers to let them know I care?
Tip #3: Be Transparent. When you don’t have the full information to share, be willing to honesty explain your constraints. If you do not show transparency, you risk breaching the reader’s trust. In your writing, what you leave unsaid can be as important as what you say.
Bob’s Blunder: Bob’s memo left many questions unanswered. Bob failed to share with his readers that he was limited by the lack of information he was receiving from his source, the federal government.
Do This: Before you press send, ask yourself, have I articulated why I can’t provide more detail?
Tip #4: More is Better. During a crisis, people can get overwhelmed. This reduces their ability to retain information. Your message may get lost. To ensure your communication is received, aim to increase the frequency of writing to employees about important issues. Repetition is key. Find ways to communicate important messages in different ways on a frequent basis during turbulent times.
Bob’s Blunder: Bob waited a few weeks between his first and second written communication about the changes and this caused concern among employees.
Do This: Before you press send, ask yourself, have I communicated how I will continue to keep people updated?
It has been said that the only constant in life is change. This may be truer than ever. How you communicate in writing during turbulent times can leave a lasting impression on those within your organization and beyond. Your people are watching not just what you do, but how you do it. By following these four tips, you can leave a lasting legacy within your organization – one that you will not look back and regret like Bob did.
About the Author
Dr. Julie Miller is President of Business Writing that Counts! Over the past 30 years, more than 750,000 people have participated in Business Writing That Counts! on-site and online writing courses and walked away with dramatically improved writing skills. Dr. Julie and her team are focused on increasing our clients’ bottom line by improving the efficiency and effectiveness of employees’ writing. Contact her at www.businesswritingthatcounts.com
by American Business Women's Association | Jun 2, 2020 | Blog
Working from home by choice or by mandate presents a unique set of opportunities and challenges. If you’re new to telecommuting, you might find that without some discipline, you’re waking up well beyond normal work hours and adopting behaviors you would never exhibit on your worst day at the office.
In the beginning you might welcome a day or two late mornings and wearing pajamas past noon. However, sloth mimicry is a habit few professionals would enthusiastically adopt long term. To get the most out of telecommuting, you need to master some best practices.
Create and Maintain a Routine
Recognize the fact that telework requires self-discipline. A day of waking up at 5:00 am followed by one where you rise at 9:00 and another at 10:00 is a pattern on the path to disaster. Adopt some desk hours and stick with them. Also, be sure to take some regular breaks. You need to eat, you need to stand, and you need to stretch. You also need to turn off work when it’s time to go home. Unless you’re in a field that demands it, checking email at midnight is not a good idea. You need to establish psychological boundaries to keep work hours work hours and home hours home hours.
Learn New Technology and Leverage Old
When working from a distance, you should learn how to use popular web-conferencing software, get comfortable on camera, and get ready to meet regularly online. The world is moving to the virtual conference room, and you need to know how to operate in that space. “I don’t like being on camera,” “I’m not a tech person,” and “I’ll just call in,” are excuses that will leave you behind. Nobody looks their best on a webcam; that’s a fact. It’s also a fact that facial expressions, body language, and other visual cues are a big part of communication. If they’re missing, you’re missing out.
In addition to mastering video conferencing, if you’re working with a single screen, consider investing in one or two more. The extra room is a game changer, especially if you don’t have access to a high-speed printer and find yourself having to read a lot of documents on screen that you would have normally printed at the office.
Stay Connected
Working alone saves hours, but the lack of chit chat created during casual interactions can also cause your relationships with your coworkers to suffer. To remedy the problem, you need to be deliberate in your communication and schedule time to catch up.
Set aside some minute during your workday to check in with coworkers. Not working on a project that requires meetings? Consider setting up a virtual lunch date instead. Most people who wake up one day feeling isolated and in a funk don’t have a contact plan in place. Prepare for regular social interactions before you start missing them.
Seek Out Opportunity
If you’re working from home and find yourself with extra hours on your hands, it’s time take initiative and learn some new skills. Anything you can do to expand your knowledge, work practices, or professional network could help you later.
- Consider developing an education plan for yourself. For example, instead of faking your way through PowerPoint, learn how to use the slide master, templates, and other features so that tool works for you the way in which its creators intended.
- Look for ways to make your work more efficient. Is it time to organize your email system? Could you benefit from creating rules, using folders, and getting your electronic communication under control once and for all? It can be done, it takes time, and if you have any minutes to spare that you otherwise would have spent commuting, seize the day.
- Get online and expand your business network. Brush up your LinkedIn profile, and start making connections. Look for people with whom you grew up, attended school, or shared an employer at some point during your career. You never know how your efforts to connect could benefit you and others in the future.
Be Prepared
Working from home means you have to become more self-reliant. For example, an ounce of prevention can make all the difference when you encounter a tech upset.
Start with the basics. Think about your files and the tools you need to complete your work. For example, do you have a cloud backup? Do you have remote access software so someone in IT can help you if you hit a roadblock?
In addition to technology surprises, consider your short- and long-term goals. If your employer decided to eliminate telework, or your position for that matter, what would you do? Do you have a plan? It’s a lot easier to enact something you created when you weren’t stressed than to craft and start working on a solution when you are.
Create a disaster plan for one, and you’ll be ahead of most people when challenges arise.
Following routines, leveraging tech, being deliberate with communication, setting aside time for growth, and preparing for uncertainty are five ways you can get the most out of a work-at-home experience.
About the Author:
Kate Zabriskie is the president of Business Training Works, Inc., a Maryland-based talent development firm. For more information, visit www.businesstrainingworks.com.
by American Business Women's Association | Jan 18, 2019 | Blog, Uncategorized
If you’ve ever participated in a team-building activity, you’ve most likely observed how a seemingly benign activity can quickly go south. So, the next time you are tasked with organizing a team-building event, consider the following suggestions:
- Define your goals, time, resources and budget needed for your team building event.
- Search online or visit your favorite book store to generate tons of great (and fun) team building ideas from problem solving activities designed to increase workplace productivity to team collaboration.
- Interview your colleagues about their team building experiences, specifically what worked and what trip-wires to avoid.
- Depending on your budget constraints, consider hiring a local company who specializes in corporate team-building events. Type corporate team building in the internet search field to find a listing of companies in your area. Another excellent resource is the National Speaker’s Association at https://www.nsaspeaker.org/find-speaker/.
- Choose an inclusive team-building event (like the marshmallow and spaghetti challenge) so participants of all ages and physical capabilities will benefit from the event.
- Incorporate an element of fun and relaxation within your team building event such as a group photo to feature in your company newsletter and/or a recognition ceremony with silly awards. T-shirts, gift certificates from your local coffee shop or your company store are always fun and appreciated too.
- At least one week before your scheduled event, send a memo with event details. Knowing what’s ahead will minimize participants’ anxiety.
- Set-up the room/venue in advance of the event.
- Schedule enough time to debrief the activity at the end of the event Did it meet your goals? What worked well? What would you do differently?
- Write up a summary of the team-building experience and send it to participants following the event and thank them for their participation.
Finally, don’t get discouraged if your team-building event doesn’t produce profound results on your first attempt. “There is a great deal else going on other than the activity itself,” notes a recent article in Forbes. “Facilitators need to worry about creating feelings of trust, safety and connection among participants, while also making sure to communicate what the goals of the activities are.”
Share your tribal knowledge with others. Tell us what was your favorite (or worst) team building event.
